Unresolved Pain Has a Voice-and It’s Called Bitterness

For years I was a bitter person. I just didn’t know it. I stuffed every hurt, every resentment so deep down inside that it was like I had drank poison. The only difference was that I had drank spiritual poison, and it was a slow walk to spiritual death. With each disappointment that I experienced, the wounds only got deeper. I would tell myself that I was over the things that happened to me. And if I wasn’t telling myself that I was over it, someone else was telling me to just get over it. Bitterness is pain that never gets permission to heal and ignoring it doesn’t make it go away.  

A root of bitterness starts from unresolved anger, resentment, and unforgiveness from the emotional pain and trauma that we experienced. Betrayal, repeated disappointments, and unmet needs also fuel bitterness. A person that is struggling with bitterness may show signs of blaming, ridicule, critical judging, complaining, gossiping, jealousy, murmuring, and irrational condemnation.

What happens when pain is silenced instead of processed? We bury the pain deep inside or we distract ourselves from the emotional symptoms that take root from not dealing with it.

A good example of bitterness in the bible is King Saul. In 1 Samuel 18:8-9, 12, Saul was driven by the root of bitterness when jealousy and insecurity entered his heart. This drove him to chase and attempt to kill David numerous times and caused him to be disobedient and rebel against God. Deep down Saul knew that his spiritual condition was faulty, but he continued in the state that he was in. He was moved by rage, hate, anger, envy, and jealousy until God eventually rejected him as King.

Revelation 8:11 says, “The name of the star is Wormwood. A third of the waters became wormwood, and many people died from the water, because it had been made bitter.” Wormwood refers to a bitter poisonous substance called absinthe. In end time prophecy, this verse speaks of the spiritual condition of many people before the seals are broken, and the wrath of God is poured out. When people drink the poison of bitterness, they die in it.

Bitterness is like a malignant cancer. The growth may be small and slow growing at first, but over time it will rapidly spread and cause death and destruction.

It’s not just a spiritual death that can happen. Bitterness can cause many different physical, mental, and emotional illnesses in the body as well.

Bitterness is very serious because it can keep you from a relationship with God and from the blessing of the Lord. It is sin and sin opens doors to the enemy. Sin gives demons legal rights to continue to wreak havoc in your life.

People don’t usually go around saying “I am bitter.” It disguises itself with self-protection or even strength. Many people don’t recognize bitterness in themselves until someone else calls it out. But you can recognize it by a person's actions and listening closely to what they say. Luke 6:45, says “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” This means that if you want to know what is inside of a person, watch their actions and listen to their words. Even if they try to hide a root of bitterness, they will eventually show you what’s on the inside of them.

Possible Signs That You’re Carrying Bitterness:

·         Overreacting to small triggers

They might say, “See, this is why I don’t deal with people. One little thing and I’m done.”

·         Replaying old conversations in your head

They may say something like, “I keep thinking about what they said, and it makes me mad.” Or “I can’t stop replaying that argument we had. It’s like it just happened.”

·         Shutting down emotionally

Saying things like “I’m not letting anyone get close to me ever again.” “I don’t need people, that’s why I keep to myself.”

·         Distrusting people when trust is deserved

They may say something like “I’m not letting anybody get close again.”

·         Quiet jealousy and comparison

Bitterness can also hide as envy, so the person may say something like, “Why do they always get everything?” Or, “If people only knew the real them.”

These are just a few examples of the words of someone with a bitter heart. The most important thing is that you recognize the language of bitterness so that healing can take place.

How Do You Heal from A Root of Bitterness?

1.      Repent from any unforgiveness, bitterness, and anger towards others.

Ephesians 4:31 (NLT) says to “get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.

2.      Pray blessings for those that hurt you.

  Romans 12:14, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.”

Luke 6:27-28, “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”

3.      Guard your heart.

Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

4.      Forgive the people that hurt or offended you.

Colossians 3:13, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

5.      Instead of trying to get even at the person(s) that hurt you, extend love and grace to them.

Ephesians 4:32, “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

6.      Let go of past hurts and pain.

      1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

7.      Receive the grace and mercy that God extends to you.

Isaiah 30:18, “Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore He exalts himself to show mercy to you.”

8.      Create space for healing.

3 John 2, “Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.”

Spiritual Warfare Declarations against Bitterness

• I renounce every root of bitterness, and I command it to leave my heart now, in the name of Jesus.

• I break every chain of unforgiveness that tries to hold my mind, will, emotions, and relationships in bondage.

• I reject every lie that is holding on to pain from past hurts and wounds.

• Every seed of resentment, fear, anger, and offense is uprooted, and it will no longer have spiritual authority over my emotions.

• I take back every place bitterness occupied in my life, and I reclaim peace, love, joy, and freedom.

• My mind is aligned with truth, not trauma. I refuse to rehearse old conversations, old wounds, and old offenses in Jesus' name.

• The enemy won't use my past to control my future.

• I declare emotional healing, physical healing, and total restoration in my heart and mind.

                                                Prayer

Heavenly Father, I have been bitter towards others that have caused me pain. I let the root of bitterness seep deep inside my soul and it has clouded my view of them. It has also put a wedge in my relationship with you Lord and destroyed many of my earthly relationships. I repent for letting the root of bitterness take root in my heart. Forgive me Lord for the way that I have treated others. Forgive them also for what they did to me. Your Word says, they know not what they do. I choose to walk in love going forward. Help me to pour out agape love to others in Jesus’ name. Amen.